This past semester I had the opportunity to teach a class on "Biblical Foundations for Family Life." Throughout the class each student wrote a number of essays. I was so impressed with the level of thought and content from the from the students' essays that we will be publishing a few of them as articles in the next few newsletters. I hope you enjoy them as much as I have. This month we are publishing Matthew Simpson's essay, entitled "How the Book of Ruth Portrays the Biblical Model of Family." - Gary L. Cox

How the Book of Ruth Portrays the

Biblical Model of Family

By Matthew Simpson

9/29/05

            God has a design for the family, and he uses the story of Ruth to give us some examples of how God wants a family to operate. The book of Ruth portrays the Biblical model of family in a number of ways. Some may think of the story of Ruth as just a love story, but it after a careful study it becomes apparent that it is so much more. Even though we may not even understand why God’s plan for the family is so important, it will become clear after we take a look at the different facets of God’s model for a family.

            The father is the authority in the family, and he should care for and lead his family where God leads. This is evidenced in the story of Ruth when Elimelech takes his wife and family from Bethlehem to Moab to escape the famine. Even though this may sound like just a common sense action to take, the Bible emphasizes that Elimelech was the one who led his family to Moab (Ruth 1:1-2). This shows me that the father needs to be the one who is caring for his family, and taking the authority and responsibility as the leader of his family. In today’s world, the father is often stereotyped as the one who sits on the sofa, eats chips, drinks soda, and watches sports while his family goes to pieces around him. In reality, not all fathers have actually deteriorated this much, but so many show such a disregard for their family’s happiness and well-being, and this has proved tragic for many families. This account shows me that the father needs to take the initiative and get engaged with his family. Another good example Elimelech gives is that he lives out the verse in Proverbs about the prudent man seeing the danger, and hiding himself. A father needs to be prudent concerning his family’s surroundings, desires, and potential dangers they may come across. Elimelech sees that his family will starve, and so before they actually do begin to, he packs up and moves somewhere where they can find food. Without prudence, he may have just waited around until he realized from physical evidence that his family was dying.

            But what happens when the father is absent or deceased? This scenario is also addressed in the book of Ruth. Apparently, soon after their arrival in Moab, Elimelech dies, and leaves his wife and two sons alone in a strange country. It is implied that Elimelech’s two sons stay near to and care for their mother, Naomi (Ruth 1:3-5). Even when they get married and start families of their own, they still apparently stay close their mother to look after her. As a son, I need to care for my mother always, especially when my father is absent. I feel that this world’s view of mothers and older people in general is to just stick them in a nursing home when we feel they have served their purpose. Instead, we need to care for our parents in their old age.

            The reason for Naomi’s sons caring for her may have been the good training that Elimelech gave them. It is important for the father to train the sons in many things, so that when a situation such as Elimelech’s death arises, the sons are not left wondering what to do. Because of Elimelech’s training, his sons were able to recognize that taking care of their widowed mother was their first priority. In the same way, the elder ones in the family should not abandon their grandchildren and think that their job is done once their own children are raised and out in the world. It is apparent in a couple of spots in the book of Ruth that the grandparents are to be there to guide their grandchildren (Ruth 4:15-16). They should also be there to always counsel their own children. Naomi gave Ruth detailed advice concerning Boaz, and Ruth was humble enough to accept it, and that brought her great blessing (Ruth 3:1-5). So, I think that instead of buying a huge RV and touring the country, and starting to live a separate life from their children and grandchildren, grandparents should be there to counsel, encourage, and give spiritual advice to the younger ones in their family.

            This brings up what I believe is the essence of a Biblical family: togetherness. The whole basis of the book of Ruth is a family sticking together, namely Ruth and Naomi. A biblical family is summed up I think in these verses: Ruth 1:16-17  “And Ruth said, Intreat me not to leave thee, {or} to return from following after thee: for whither thou goest, I will go; and where thou lodgest, I will lodge: thy people {shall be} my people, and thy God my God: Where thou diest, will I die, and there will I be buried: the Lord do so to me, and more also, {if ought} but death part thee and me.” Even when her own sister left, Ruth refused to leave Naomi (Ruth 1:14). That is true devotion to family, something that I feel is lacking in today’s society.

            Another thing that is lacking in today’s world is the closeness of non-immediate family (cousins, uncles, aunts, etc.). Families tend to split up and go their separate ways, but I do not think that is within God’s plan. Of course, people have their own lives to live, but there should always be a willingness to help extended family, and they should be the first ones we go to when we need help. Boaz was more than willing to help Ruth and Naomi when they were in need (Ruth 2:8-9; 11-12; 14-15). He was kind and considerate to Ruth, giving her extra barley to eat and take home, and instructing his workers not to bother her, and even to drop some more barley than they would normally, so that Ruth would be able to get more. He also took it upon himself to fulfill his duties as the next-of-kin, and settle Naomi’s business affairs for her. We need to be sure that we are there for our extended family when they need help, instead of separating ourselves from them.

            Another way that the story of Ruth shows God’s model for the family is the way that Ruth and Boaz meet. It is not apparent that Ruth knew that she was going to Boaz’s barley field, or that she knew Boaz at all (Ruth 2:3). It was only by God’s design that they met. This shows me that if I just wait on the Lord, he will provide a wife for me, if that is within his will. That’s a lot easier to say than actually live out, since so many times I don’t really feel like waiting. However, when I look and see the world’s method for finding a spouse, and the broken relationships that result from that, and then look at the happy marriages that result from waiting on the Lord, it helps me be reassured that God’s way is definitely the best way. This ties into God’s family model in that if we follow God’s plan for marriage, then the marriage will be a happy one, and that will reflect on the rest of the family. If we refuse to follow God’s plan, then the marriage could very well turn out bad, causing an unhappy family. Marriage is the foundation of a family, and if the foundation is not strong, then the family will not be strong, which will cause unhappiness, strife, and even the eventual destruction of that family. This is why God’s plan is so important; without God’s help, I can do nothing to start or keep a family together. People that ignore God’s plan are, unfortunately, a dime a dozen, and many broken homes are the result. 

            In conclusion, the book of Ruth shows God’s model for the family exceptionally, from how fathers should be the head of the family, to how one goes about finding a spouse through God’s will. It struck me also that there are rewards for following God’s model for the family. Because Ruth insisted on staying with Naomi, and followed her advice concerning Boaz, she is one of the Jesus’ earthly ancestors. God will give great joy in my family if I will follow his model, which I will endeavor to do, with his help.