Really Bad Analogies

Analogy: An analogy is the comparison of something or a situation to something else

“He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.”

“The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn’t.”

“Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the center.”

“Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.”

“He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree.”

“The thunder was ominous-sounding, much like the sound of a thin sheet of metal being shaken backstage during the storm scene in a play.”

“John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.”

“The politician was gone but unnoticed, like the period after the Dr. on a Dr Pepper can.”

“The red brick wall was the color of a brick-red Crayola crayon.”